Eggshell breaking point theory

Sinéad took over CCA’s Project Space for the month of September as part of Testing Ground, to try out new ideas and take risks with her practice.

This is a project in two parts. For the artist, as a one human action, it is an exploration of thought while practicing the art of drawing a line. With the community it is an opportunity to gather young people from The Churches Trust, in specific workshops, and the public in an open workshop, within the historic walled city.

Together the artist and audiences will draw and paint en plein air, capturing the lines and shapes of the city. On Thursday 19 September, Sinéad hosted an evening event, which was open to all, and hoped to be the largest gathering of visual artists drawing together within the city walls in over 400 years. All were welcome to return to the CCA for drinks and discussion around the idea of being watched as you create something.

Sinéad used this project to ask many questions and to explore what is solid and what is not. She wanted to think about the importance of impermanence on a physical, emotional and energetic level. She aimed to ask questions about the act of creating while being observed and to think about vulnerability, fragility, sensitivity. What does it mean to carefully apply one, delicate soft pale line of eggshell chalk, made by the hands of young people from across the city of city, along the centre pathways on this city’s circular walls to then gently erase this line almost as it is made, with collected rainwater gathered from these walls?

Aspects of the project around the artists own actions have been documented in a film:

eggshell breaking point theory as a one-human action
a text by Sinéad Smyth

The fragility of our being here, at this specific time, at this specific place, is a given.

Life on earth is a scientific miracle and the miracle of creation is open for serious scientific discussion. What came first…the chicken or the egg.

It seems, in western cultures, that our lives have come to be measured, life to death, in linear form. We are born, we do stuff, we die. The story of creation and destruction are two sides of existence, like the inside and outside of an eggshell, the lining of a womb, or different sides of a cell wall.

A walled city raises ideas of protection, strength, safety. Many stones, placed together, fitted into place to form a wall for power, strength, domination or protection, safety, care. I guess it depends how you look at it. It depends on what is contained or kept within/behind those walls. It depends on intent.

An eggshell is considered, for its size, to be able to take a huge force, spread across its surface, before breaking. Yet with sudden pressure to the right place, it can easily break. Eggshell can be broken into many small parts and crushed to powder. Dispersed on the wind as if it never existed.

I have made sentences phrased as questions here but they are not asking you for an answer. They are just ideas to be thought about.

There are so many questions to ask with this project. To explore what is solid and what is not. To think about the importance of impermanence on a physical, emotional and energetic level. To experience carefully applying one, delicate soft pale line of eggshell chalk, made by the hands of young people from across the city of Derry, along the centre pathway of this city’s walls. To gently erase this line almost as it is made, with collected rainwater gathered from these walls in eggshells.

This line is delicate, broken, transient and ceases to exist almost as it is being born, leaving no trace but the memory of a moment where it was quietly created then destroyed, whether observed or seen by others, or not. It may never exist for you but it will always exist for me.

A line can be divisive or it can create a series of points where ideas and people interact and come together. It can be dotted, broken or continuous. It can be linear or circular, amongst other things. It can be real or imaginary. Exist in physical, solid form or simply in theory, in the ether – liquid or air.

Through this project I gather, process and connect with thoughts on my own experience of life, love and loss, and the cancer, which I am currently receiving treatment for.

Part of my artistic practice, since the mid 1990’s in Belfast, and from 2000 in Derry and Donegal, has been community engagement. I have worked developing and facilitating cross cultural, community integration and single identity projects, engaging humans of all ages, from different traditions and heritages, for decades.

One thing that has always sounded true for me is that people are just people.

We all build walls to protect ourselves. There is strength in our unity as a pack, as a way of survival. We each have an outer shell, our strength, our power, our families, our joys. Yet, we all have our sorrow, painful memories, tears we have wept, paths we have taken that have brought us to our knees, ways we have tried to cope that have destroyed who we are on the inside.

This project opportunity has come at a time when I wonder how and why and many other questions, about myself.

Stress and loss have played a heavy roll in my own life over the past decade, and although many happy experiences have been woven through that timeframe, I feel that I am now experiencing the physical manifestation of this toll in my own body.

What does it feel like to constantly walk on eggshells, to constantly present yourself as being strong, constantly giving of yourself, to constantly be conditioned never to ask or expect or need anything in return.

What does it feel like to realise you don’t have to concern yourself with how fragile other people are all the time. That you can take the time to care for yourself and put your own needs and wants first for a change. That you can allow yourself to just be yourself. That creating your own boundaries for how you want to live and engage with other people is your power.

Walls can be built with love or without love, boundaries can be created with or without love, our personal shells can be broken with or without love, we can laugh with or without love. When there is love, when there is care, when there is consideration and understanding, the outcome is exponentially different.

Have you ever broken or been broken by someone. Physically, emotionally, men tally. Have the collective weights from past experiences or stresses ever become too much to bear. Do you know your breaking point. Do you know the breaking point of others. What does it feel like to realise that people can exist in different states of fragility. That bone density can differ, like the thickness of an eggshell. That the same force to bruise one person, might crush another’s body. It’s called eggshell theory. And, if you inflict physical damage on someone who is more brittle or fragile than you are aware, you are responsible for the extent of that damage, regardless of your intent.

When someone asks for help or support and we are too busy with our own lives, we don’t stop to ask…could they be more fragile than I am aware of. What if the emotional pressures of this is too much for them. What if this manifests in a physically destructive way. Who is responsible then. Do we need to blame someone else. Does it make it easier to say the fault lies with someone else’s actions or inaction. Does it mean we are giving our power away. Does it matter. And what of matter.

Gas, liquid or solid.

City wall, cell wall, inner wall, out.
My tears, your tears, crushing fears shout.
This stone, that stone, your loss and mine
Same pain, little gain, time, time, time.